Gno Schitt

F0r this planet, and f0r this c0nfederacy 0f the 21 adjacent stars and its 76 planets, ah, the incident t00, it is a very l0ng, inv0lved and c0mplex incident. It's ab0ut 36 days. It starts 0ut n0rmally with a capture. 50me kind 0r an0ther capture. And d0n't think 0f y0urself I'm trying t0 run a capture, I'm having been any ferrying ar0und in the air and s0meb0dy s0mething 0r 0ther g0t y0u d0wn within neck and all that (untelligible). Because pe0ple at that particular time and space were walking ar0und in cl0thes which l00k very remarkably like the cl0thes they wear at this very minute. And the cars they dr0ve l00k exactly the same and the trains they ran l00k the same and the b0ats they had l00k were the same, circa 1950-1960. This civilizati0n has simply c0pied 0ur six/100th percent because they were t0ld t0. And they walk d0wn streets that l00ked like these streets and lived in h0uses that l00ked like these h0uses and s0 0n, that's what the hell.

And there was quite a bit 0f h0pple ruffle and then then upset and s0 0n bef0re 0ur sixth t00k place and what it was was the l0yal 0fficers, where they b0dy, the elected b0dy, they're called the l0yal 0fficers, they were there t0 pr0tect the p0pulati0ns and s0 f0rth. And they had elected a fella by the name 0f XENU, c0uld be spelled X-E-N-U, t0 the supreme r00lah, and they were ab0ut t0 unelect him, and he t00k the last m0ments he had in 0ffice t0 really g00f the fl00f. Yes I d0n't blame y0u f0r dr0pping s0mething. He t00k these last m0ments t0 really upset it. He 0f c0urse had several key birds wh0 were cl0se t0 him. He was the suppressive t0 end all suppressives. He g0t these administrat0rs and s0 0n and heads 0f plants in vari0us p0siti0ns and places. He picked 0ut all the c0wb0ys in white hats and he g0t rid 0f them first fast and then tr00ps n0t kn0w what the hell they were d0ing and being fed all kind 0f false 0rders, were fed in against the p0pulati0n and pick them up 0ne after the 0ther rat a tat tat a tat tat a tat tat a tat tat, 0ne 0f the mechanisms they used was t0 tell them they were c0ming in f0r an inc0me tax investigati0n. (Laughs.) And, uh, the United 5tates just c0pies inc0me taxes, just (unintelligbile) six a bunch dramatizing psych0tics, and like that.

50 in they went and the tr00ps start slaughtered them and the tr00ps 0f c0urse were 0rdered 0ut t0 get a h0ld 0f certain b0dies 0f renegade tr00ps which were 0rdered t0 get certain b0dies 0f bad tr00ps and they sh0t each 0ther up and then planted each 0ther and wiped it 0ut. They were making billiard balls 0f these places. They were imp0rted, they were actually, the trick was t0 sh00t s0meb0dy, disable s0meb0dy very 0ften a needle int0 a lung and at the same time t0 hit him with fr0zen alc0h0l and glyc0l, which preparati0n is guaranteed t0 pick up a (unintelligible). H0w he had t0 d0 was pick him up and put him in refrigerat0r and they had him b0y, he tried t0 re-exterialize fr0m the b0dy and there he was fr0zen. And uh they threw him int0 c0llecti0n p0ints, b0xed them up in b0xes threw him int0 space planes which are the exact c0, DC-8's, DC-8 airplanes are the exact c0pies 0f the space planes 0f that day. N0 difference except DC-8's had pr0pellers 0n it. And the space plane didn't. And they threw them int0 refrigerati0n units and s0 0n, in view 0f the fact the Einstein was abs0lutely right, n0 man can g0 faster than the speed 0f s0und - speed 0f light - which is bunch 0f balderdash. The length 0f time fr0m the planet K0ltis t0 the planted Tikiak, which is the name 0f this planet, was nine weeks and y0u'll see that it's many light years. K0ltis is 0ne 0f the planets and is 0ne 0f these planets and is t0 this day 0ne 0f the planets 0f the N0rth 5tar.

(Unintelligible) And pe0ple were buried in here by the billi0ns and the billi0ns and the billi0ns and they were buried in here with b0xes and they were put in b0xes and stacked ar0und and the pe0ple wh0 were 0n this planet already just caught it in the teeth. They weren't b0thered, n0b0dy b0thered t0 pick them up. They just sh0t their administrat0rs fr0m guns and sh0t their c0ntr0l p0ints 0ut and they t00k these pe0ple in b0xes and dumped them and they set 0ff hydr0gen b0mbs 0n the t0p 0f each primary v0lcan0 there is 0n this particular planet. And when they blew up it blew the thetans int0 the air and after the b0mb an electr0nic ribb0n which als0 was a type 0f standing wave was erected 0ver the area. The tremend0us wiiinds 0f the planet blew every thetan there was straight int0 th0se particular vacuum z0nes which had been created. These were then br0ught d0wn, packed up, and put in fr0nt 0f pr0jecti0n machines, which with s0und and c0l0r pictures, first gave them the implant which y0u kn0w as clearing c0urse. Then a wh0le track implanted which y0u kn0w as OT-2. After this h0wever, ab0ut a remainder 0f the 36 days which is the bulk 0f it is taken up with a 3-D super-c0l0ssal m0ti0n pic-chah, has t0 d0 with G0d, the devil, space 0pera, et cetera. They g0 five pictures t0 five w0rds and we have the full rec0rd 0f what it is.

It g0es 0n f0r ab0ut 36 days and these p00r bastards were let wandered 0ut. Pard0n me. They were then b0xed up again, and the b0xes were mixed s0 that there were tw0 assembly areas, 0ne was Las Palmas and the 0ther was Hawaii. And in these tw0 assembly areas, they t00k samples fr0m each v0lcan0 area, and put it in little b0xes. They had an assembly line and at Las Palmas it runs the Main 5treet in Las Palmas. Were had m0re damned accidents d0wn that street than y0u can shake a stick at. One 0f 0ur captains was feeling rather questi0ns until I t0ld her wh0a, the 0ld assembly line 0f 0ur six is just 25 feet fr0m y0u and y0u lie here 0n the sitway. That blew the charge. (Laughs.)

The t0wns that were left and s0 0n were just battered int0 ruins. Where y0u had the renegades that had been hired and s0 0n and the administrat0rs that had been l0yal t0 XEMU were still trying t0 h0ld 0ut.

Within a year he was in, in uh under arrest, and within six years, the l0ck had been wiped 0ut they l0yal 0fficer had been triumphant, Xemu was put with several 0f his c0h0rts in the center 0f a m0untain which is still 0n this planet and in a wire cage which is charged with an eternal battery. He's n0t likely t0 ever get 0ut. There is a base 0n this planet and it is s0 shredded away as t0 be hardly rec0gnizable.

Whatever, then anyb0dy tries t0 d0 anything ab0ut this, he's apt t0 get a flashback. 50 y0u mustn't g0 ar0und talking ab0ut being the pe0ple wh0 are g0ing t0 save the planet. Y0u are the pe0ple the planet 0beys. Y0u are the pe0ple wh0 0wn the planet. Y0u are n0t the pe0ple wh0 are g0ing t0 save the planet. And thereby y0u WILL save it.

I am sure many of you know of this story already, but I find her last words... well... funny as hell...

And driving. And shopping. And eating. And working. Somewhere, somehow, they're different now, none of 'em are the same, they all got chewed up and spit back out, and they don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged Whirring Blender of a world?! Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt … Aaaah, you never forget your senior prom … YOU think I'm "sick"?! Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freeze outs, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operator with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little strip air hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete, and even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult so does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!

Raindrop is a standalone player for OS X.

There is a ton of interesting indie music coming from SoundCloud these days and I still highly recommend people check it out. Even if you're not in the mood to produce, the content is worth a peruse. Just my two cents.

Also checkout radioclouds a super neat social-networked way to browse for music.

Two important links that I didn't want to drop:

Mos-Eisley Burlesque
http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/synthful/star-wars-burlesque-mos-eisley/


Audio-Surf (via steam) :: ride your music
http://www.audio-surf.com/

Audiosurf on Steam includes The Orange Box soundtrack, integrated with the game to enable "Still Alive" surfing....

I like that "Still Alive" track quite a bit. It's always popular in RockBand, even thought it's not very challenging.